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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments often turn “really delusional”, he states. You feel invincible and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are typically succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, a period when he feels sensitive and ashamed about his actions, making him highly sensitive to negative feedback from others. He came to wonder he might have NPD after looking up his traits through digital sources – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment without having independently formed that conclusion on his own. “If you try to tell somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they experience beliefs of dominance. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And that world is like, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been identified with narcissism for more than a century, definitions vary what people refer to as the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people conceal it, due to significant negative perception linked to the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through behaviors including pursuing power,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Though a significant majority of people found to have NPD are men, studies points out this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who discusses her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with handling criticism and being turned down,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I often enter self-protection or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this reaction – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been trying to overcome it and accept input from her close relationships, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where we’ve agreed, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of positive role models as a child. I’ve had to teach myself over the years what is suitable or harmful to say when arguing because I never had that growing up,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were insulting me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be connected with childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was in fact, her who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

After a visit to his GP, John was referred to a mental health professional for an assessment and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: It was indicated it is probably going to be in a few months.”

He has shared with a small circle about his condition, because “prejudice is common that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to comprehend my actions, which is beneficial,” he says. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the disorder. But the growth of NPD content creators and the development of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number